I’ll just preface this by saying that I don’t usually touch entertainment news items such as these for the simple reason that I just don’t care about the personal lives of actors or musicians, but after getting wind of this latest piece of information, I just had to share it with the world: Joel Madden is writing his memoirs!

Before I continue, I’ll wait a few seconds to help let it sink in and let you guys readjust yourselves accordingly. A lot of you are probably on the floor, rolling around uncontrollably like it’s nobody’s business. Getting up about now? Okay, just to confirm, in case you think you misread it, Joel Madden is indeed writing his memoirs. On the floor again, are you? Can’t say that I blame you.

So, assuming you guys are up on your feet again, the first thing that entered my mind was: Joel Madden, from Good Charlotte? Why would anybody want to read his memoirs? His life is what passes as interesting these days?

Then, like you I assume, I laughed hysterically for some time (don’t know exactly how long, though; I lost track), took another look at the article to make sure I hadn’t misread anything, like that it was John Madden who was actually writing his memoirs (which would only be slightly less funny I guess, but still less funny all the same). Alas, no such luck, as I realized the article was indeed as I had first read it. I laughed again, of course, and then started writing this.

I will openly admit that superficially speaking, I don’t have a problem with Good Charlotte’s music. They prone to making a very catchy radio-friendly brand of rock music that isn’t exactly displeasing to the ears. In fact, if I had never heard of them before and turned on the radio to hear one of their singles, I’d probably think they were pretty good. I’d be mistaken, for sure, but they’d still manage to fool me for some time. Of course, I have heard of them, and that aforementioned superficiality is what leads to their downfall, as far as I’m concerned, anyway.

I owned their self-titled debut and actually liked it (I still have it in my collection, actually). Based on that, I bought their second album, the one with “Lifestyles Of The Rich And Famous” when it came out even though I hated that single, because I figured the album as a whole would be just as good as the first. Unfortunately I was a bit too accurate in my estimation. In fact, it was a carbon copy of their debut. They each had a song about the two twins hating their deadbeat dad, one about living in suburban Washington D.C., as well as a so-called anthem on each! Much to my chagrin, the band apparently hadn’t grown at all. Needless to say, I was pissed off as a fan, which I was no longer immediately after realizing I had been ripped off. I ended up selling the album right away for just a few bucks just so I could get it out of my collection.

I will admit, that I haven’t totally hated their stuff since then (at least what I’ve heard on the radio and on television) and they have showed some signs of maturing. However, just reading their Wikipedia page now, I’m seeing that they’ll be returning to their “pop-punk roots” on their next album! Speaking to their declining popularity of recent years, I guess they’ve figured out the formula to success, what works and what doesn’t. At least that would be my best guess.

That right there is perhaps my biggest beef with the music industry today: Its over-commercialization. Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand the need to advertise and the need to get one’s self and image out “there”, but what happened to doing it for the love of the music? I mean, take Akon (yes, Akon, again) for one example. You can’t go anywhere these days without hearing about him. He produced the new Whitney Houston single, and is featured on just about every other rhythm-and-blues or hip-hop single on the Billboard Hot 100 chart these days. He puts his name on everything to do with Hitlab.com, his new business venture, not because he has to, but because he believes so firmly that that’s where the music industry is headed, into the digital age. Just look at all the hype this Top 50 Digital Songs of All Time list is getting. Of note, Kon Live’s own Lady Gaga made it on the list twice, with “Just Dance” and “Poker Face”. I can tell you one thing… music certainly isn’t headed towards autobiographies and memoirs.

I just don’t see why artists need to go to the extremes they do to sell albums, not only by writing books that, were it likely not for a ghostwriter, would be horrible written. Also by selling yourself and your own personal style out to sell albums. Also by appearing on The Simpsons for Chrissake.

I’m of course referring to news that Coldplay will appear on the hit animated series this upcoming season, as if the British band needed more publicity. I mean, come on. When U2 did it, it was cool. When ‘N Sync did it, it got annoying. When R.E.M. did it, it spoke more to their desperateness to get into the public eye again more than it did the fact that they had once been in the public eye. Now that Coldplay’s doing it, I just want to hit Chris Martin. And Joel Madden too. But for so many other reasons.

Peace out,
M.C.